Extremely Normal

snowSnowpocolypse, snomageddon... call it what you will, we are officially home for the third day in a row due to the paralyzing effect that even one snowflake has on the Pacific Northwest. Granted, the five inches we have is more than I thought we would get... so the hype and panic is was not completely wasted.

Compared to what the east coast is used to, the amount of snow we get here on a snow day would be considered laughable. But don't judge by the amount. We here have killer snow... where delinquent snowflakes travel in gangs, terrorizing innocent bystanders and stealing their lunch money. Don't mess with a Northwest snowflake.

In preparation for what the media titled "Winter Extreme", Mister thought it would be prudent to hit up the grocery store before "snowzilla" befell our city. Apparently, thats what the rest of the population thought too. Mister sent half written texts, as if he were gasping for virtual air... claiming that people were stocking up with a years worth of food and enough antifreeze to completely melt the polar ice caps for good:


     "OMG... it's cr "
     "WTF are people d ...."
     "!!! "
     "Do we need milk? I'll get...."
     "M re milk! "
     "I cant get past... nuts!"
     "Toilet pa- "
     "The dog... wh...food?"
     "vodka ??"
     "... find... need... help!"

Let's just say... good thing he got the vodka. The novelty has worn off, and my visions of hot cocoa by a roaring fire, movies, and games with the kids has been vaporized and replaced with the reality of cabin fever.

The 500 piece puzzle we got for Christmas was finally opened and dumped all over the dining table. The first hour was filled with ambitious puzzle piece sorting, sipping coffee and cider, and small talk... which eventually turned into bickering. After that, we cursed the puzzle for missing a piece, lost interest, and have been treatingpuzzle the remaining 400 pieces like insignificant clutter... pushing them carelessly out of the way so we can eat dinner, read the paper, or use the laptop. I think the cat batted a few pieces off the table and into the heat register.

Lucky had this brilliant idea that she could earn a little money toward a twenty dollar make-up case by doing chores while cooped up in the house. She got off to a good start and actually dusted around the puzzle pile. Eventually, the novelty of doing work to earn money grew tiresome and with fifteen dollars to go, Lucky resorted to attempted tooth pulling hoping that she could yank out a few teeth (even one's that weren't lose) and get the rest of her needed allowance from the tooth fairy. Makes total sense to me... pulling out your own teeth is way easier than dusting and doing laundry.

In my head, we've watched all sorts of fun family movies. In reality, we've watched twenty five hours of extreme winter weather coverage and one movie... which has now scared Lucky into thinking aliens are going to abduct me. On the bright side, the whole family is very fluent in forecasting speak and can distinguish rain, ice, and snow on a double Doppler radar system within a 340 mile radius as well as recite precise numbers of snowfall in inches over the past twenty years in Northwest history. Booyah.

Of course, who can resist getting out in the "extreme snow". This was a chore, as we had to go mining for our extreme snow gear that was packed away at the bottom of an extreme box mountain in the garage. Needless to say, we found Bubb and Lucky's snow garb... which they wore, even though it was two sizes too small for them. Whatever... they stuffed their little bodies into the even littler hats, gloves, boots and pants and hobbled outside.

Surprisingly, that part went exactly as I imagined it to. Some snowballs, some sledding, and a few tears and snotcicles to deal with because Lucky was not happy with the selection of eyeballs I gave her for her snowman and insisted on painting them on. She had a total meltdown (as did her snowman) following the discovery that frozen watercolors eventually unfreeze... and get paint all over everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Yeah... that part pretty much sucked.

Right now at this moment I am happy. I've managed to write a post for the first time in a more than a month while sipping on a vodka cocktail and listening to an infinite number of versions of "Girl From Impanema" on Pandora; Mister is trying resuscitate the puzzle but still insists the "dumb thing was made with a missing piece"; Bubb is fighting with his wet, too small snow suit trying to get it back on again to go outside, and Lucky is walking around in circles wiggling a tooth in hopes that she'll be able to cash in. Yes... this is "winter extreme"... and extremely normal.


Art of the catch... Doggie shows off in the snow


0 #2 RE: Extremely Normal 2012-02-20 17:25
Halarious! I can definitely relate. Thanks for the laugh : )
0 #1 RE: Extremely Normal 2012-01-24 10:12
Love it! Thanks for the updates, was wondering how you were faring out there...did they salt or sand the road?? Did they plow? Happy to report we had some minor -4.5" snow on Saturday, and now it's completely gone. I really don't want a repeat of last winter..in the meanwhile I toast you and your vodka with a scotch-clink! Hang in there!!

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