It's a Hallmark Report Card...

Today, Bubb and Lucky celebrated the end of the school year by going out for a fancy lunch followed by a visit to the toy store. Lucky got herself a pink scooter; Bubb scored a couple of new games.

ABC’s and 123’s are old school;  these days, kids are learning skills that will truly carry them into the next generation of, well… ummm… gum chewers?

Lucky learned in kindergarten that…

• Our phone number is not as important as our PIN number. So, she’ll be able to clean out her parent’s bank account and get herself a fancy phone, but she won’t be able to make that one important phone call from the big house.

• Hall monitors get free popcorn

• It’s more fun to visit the nurse with friends than by yourself, so it’s important to get your story right as to why you are all there together. Mondays are stomach aches, Wednesdays are headaches, and Fridays are “play in the mud so you have to borrow school clothes that don’t match and are two sizes too small”.

• Dentists DON’T in fact wear top hats
• How to use the word “actually” in a sentence

• Other peoples paper scraps are her treasures and must be collected in large amounts on a daily basis and stored in her back pack until it bursts.

• Paper scraps are much more fun when held together with 30 paper clips “borrowed” from the teacher’s desk.

• Stealing office supplies from the teacher is a big “no-no”

• Staring contests are perfectly acceptable when it comes to settling a disagreement… especially if it is with yourself… in the mirror.

• “Pajama day” was fun, and that everyday should be pajama day.

 Bubb learned in third grade that…

• The boy’s bathroom wall is an excellent source for learning swear words as well as discovering new nicknames for the principal.

• Your last name will inevitably be twisted around to create a new, more exciting name that most likely will transform it from being a proper noun to just a noun; the lucky ones get an adjective and a noun.

• Food is a valuable commodity and can be traded for any number of things, including cool sticks that “totally look like a stick bug”.

• He ACTUALLY likes going to the ballet
• You can indeed overuse the word “actually”

• Organization is for the weak and feeble; real third graders create carefully constructed “artichokes” of paper, so that parents have to skillfully pluck wadded up chunks, bit by bit… layer by layer, of PTA notices, homework papers, book orders, doodles, snack wrappers, comics and test scores to find the important field trip permission slip… at the center of it all, that they were supposed to sign weeks ago.

• Its okay if your friend tells you to stop talking… just for one minute.

So, there you have it. Both Bubb and Lucky are obviously very competent and demonstrate adequate knowledge of grade level “material”, and are thus ready to move on so that they may acquire new and more challenging skills. Skills that will ultimately be used to test … the grown-ups.